Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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