cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
