Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
