I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
