Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
