Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
