that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
