so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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