Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
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fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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