her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
