I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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