I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the condom got lost in my hair
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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