I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
