The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize