he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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