Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
