I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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