Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
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