Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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