My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
