you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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