I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
