Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
