woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
