please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
