She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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