Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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