The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
