I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
