When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
