And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
