my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
