i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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