I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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