Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
