After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
