whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
