someone owes me an orgasm
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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