we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
