She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
