I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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