Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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