this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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