the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
