Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
