Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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