I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize