I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
