"it" just moved
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
