Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize