My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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