That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
