meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
