Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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