the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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