There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
